Not trying to not get pregnant... or something

Life is weird. So many things that seem normal can change so quickly.

As I wrote in my weight loss post (sort of dropped that one, didn't I? oops), I am now off the pill. For many people that isn't a big deal, but I have been on the pill for 6 years, since I was 21 years old. I have never gone off, never taken a break, and only missed one every once-in-a-while if I forgot to take it at night. Now that I have run out and decided to stop, I find myself thinking crazy things about what might be happening in my body.

I was a few days late (you know.... late....) this weekend and while I know my body needs time to get back to a "normal" 28 day cycle, I was also thinking that I could have been pregnant. I wanted to take a test (I have a few in the closet just in case), but I realized that if it was positive, I wouldn't be able to have some wine with dinner that night. I would be thrown into a world of worry and books and appointments and.... I just wanted to wait until the next morning so I could enjoy the evening care-free. Was that selfish? Was I putting my possible fetus in harm's way?

I took a test the next morning (they say the morning is best for these tests, anyway) and it was.....

**drumroll please**

NEGATIVE! Sorry, did I get you excited? No? Mmkay.

I also just got a visit from a certain Aunt with the name of Flo, so I am definitely not pregnant... yet. But isn't it weird that we women try very hard for quite a few years NOT to get pregnant, then we flip a switch and suddenly it's all the opposite? Now we're not actively TTC (trying to conceive), but we're not trying to not get pregnant anymore. At this point, if it happens, it will be a smidge ahead of our ideal schedule, but if it doesn't we have until the summer before I start charting and testing and panicking. No, no panicking. Keep Calm and Carry On....