Friday, November 11, 2011
These pictures are really terrible this week. It was cloudy out, so the light was bad and... oh well. I really like this outfit, though! The sweater tunic thing is from Gap Maternity, leggings from Old Navy Maternity (for some reason my regular leggings are really uncomfortable), boots from DSW, and a belt from Target. I always feel cuter when I wear a belt like this above my belly.
The pregnancy brain is kicking into high gear lately. I'm forgetting everything and it's starting to drive my husband nuts, I suspect. He actually just said it isn't that bad and that he forgets things all the time, but I feel like I'm losing my mind most of the time. My poor students must think I'm crazy with how often I walk to the middle of the room and realize I forgot what I was doing.
I have crazy dreams just about every night. This week, I dreamed about breastfeeding (and it was a boy). I remember feeling very relaxed and at ease, which isn't how I currently feel about breastfeeding. I'm so worried it won't work or my nipples will bleed or I'll have some other problem. I really want to breastfeed for as long as possible, so it scares me that there's a chance it won't work out. I'm determined to try my very best to make it work, though. I also had a dream that I decided to go back to serving so I could work nights and weekends to avoid putting our baby in daycare. Ick.
After my book post this week, I started worrying more about failing at motherhood. What if I'm not good at it? What if I screw up my kid? I know my flaws and I don't want my kid to be like me in some ways. I know these are normal concerns, but it's the first time I've felt the weight of this responsibility.
Our anatomy scan is Monday! We are so excited and I have a feeling my husband is going to try to convince me that we should find out the sex instead of going with our plan. The thing is, if we find out, I won't be able to keep it a secret for a few hours, let alone a week and a half until Thanksgiving. Hopefully we can just go with the whole writing it down thing and not mess with the plan. I like plans.
I'll also be 20 weeks on Monday. That's halfway, people! Holy guacamole!
By the way, Happy Veteran's Day!