Thoughts on God

Someone asked me a question on formspring recently and it reminded me that I wanted to write a post about my thoughts on and beliefs in God.

If someone would have asked me this question 3 years ago: Do you believe in God? I would have quickly answered "No." However, after growing up a bit and reading more about people's varying definitions of God, I think I may have a different answer.

I told you I bought the book Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth and learned a whole lot about being mindful with food. As I was reading, though, one part really resonated with me about God. It was as if she took the words right out of my own head:

"I don't believe in the God with long white hair and X-ray vision that favors some people, some countries, some religions and not others. I don't believe in the sky dweller, the knower of all things, the granter of prayers. But I do believe in the world beyond appearances and that there is so much we can't see or touch or know just by looking. And I do believe--because I have experienced it again and again--that the world beyond appearances is as real as a chair, a dog, a teapot."

I have always had a problem with the conventional idea of God, but I do believe that there is something connecting us all. I believe that good things happen to good people, and it doesn't matter if those people go to church or temple or worship fireside.

"And I believe in love. And beauty. I believe that every single person has something they find beautiful and that they truly love. The smell of their child's hair, the silence of a forest, their lover's crooked grin. Their country, their religion, their family. And I believe that if you follow this love all the way back to its end, if you start with the things you find most beautiful and trace its perfume back to its essence, you will perceive an intangible presence, a swath of stillness that allows the thing you love to be visible like the openness of the sky reveals the presence of the moon."

I remember holding my baby brother in the hospital when everyone else was asleep. I was rocking him in the rocking chair by the window and the sunlight was streaming in through the trees. I experienced love (or God) like I never had before.

Walking along the beach with my husband on our honeymoon, tears rolling down my cheeks, holding hands...

Reading outside on a beautiful afternoon...

Watching my students succeed...

Cuddling with my dogs...

These are the moments when I can feel that "something" that is bigger than me, that ties us all together, that brings me peace and light. We can call that something God, or we can leave it nameless, allowing it the freedom to grow and change as we do.

What are your thoughts on God?