Sunday, May 30, 2010

Thoughts on God

Someone asked me a question on formspring recently and it reminded me that I wanted to write a post about my thoughts on and beliefs in God.

If someone would have asked me this question 3 years ago: Do you believe in God? I would have quickly answered "No." However, after growing up a bit and reading more about people's varying definitions of God, I think I may have a different answer.

I told you I bought the book Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth and learned a whole lot about being mindful with food. As I was reading, though, one part really resonated with me about God. It was as if she took the words right out of my own head:

"I don't believe in the God with long white hair and X-ray vision that favors some people, some countries, some religions and not others. I don't believe in the sky dweller, the knower of all things, the granter of prayers. But I do believe in the world beyond appearances and that there is so much we can't see or touch or know just by looking. And I do believe--because I have experienced it again and again--that the world beyond appearances is as real as a chair, a dog, a teapot."

I have always had a problem with the conventional idea of God, but I do believe that there is something connecting us all. I believe that good things happen to good people, and it doesn't matter if those people go to church or temple or worship fireside.

"And I believe in love. And beauty. I believe that every single person has something they find beautiful and that they truly love. The smell of their child's hair, the silence of a forest, their lover's crooked grin. Their country, their religion, their family. And I believe that if you follow this love all the way back to its end, if you start with the things you find most beautiful and trace its perfume back to its essence, you will perceive an intangible presence, a swath of stillness that allows the thing you love to be visible like the openness of the sky reveals the presence of the moon."

I remember holding my baby brother in the hospital when everyone else was asleep. I was rocking him in the rocking chair by the window and the sunlight was streaming in through the trees. I experienced love (or God) like I never had before.

Walking along the beach with my husband on our honeymoon, tears rolling down my cheeks, holding hands...

Reading outside on a beautiful afternoon...

Watching my students succeed...

Cuddling with my dogs...

These are the moments when I can feel that "something" that is bigger than me, that ties us all together, that brings me peace and light. We can call that something God, or we can leave it nameless, allowing it the freedom to grow and change as we do.

What are your thoughts on God?

3 comments:

Jakeandjess said... [Reply to comment]

gotta admit that I'm the one who asked. I saw one of your comments on a That Wife post where you said you were an atheist. You have such great things going for you that I didn't think that this statement sounds quite right. I guess it was my sneaky way of checking on ya! Totally agree with a lot of what you wrote in this post though. If anyone basks if I believe in God I always say yes, but when I meditate or pray I usually check in with the "Universe". I guess it doesn't matter what you call it though. I'm just not comfortable with the whole Jesus/Heaven/Hell thing. Thanks for being bold and posting girlie!

Amy Carter said... [Reply to comment]

Being an atheist doesn't mean one is a devil-worshiper or that they think they're better than everyone or everything else out there... it just means that they don't believe in a God - one being that created everything that controls our lives. I control the choices I make. I need others to help me be a better person - husband, family, friends, nature, pets, etc. They are the fuel to my fire.

Jakeandjess said... [Reply to comment]

I agree- to an extent. The power of the mind is amazing, and having others around us to help us better ourselves is important. I think that there is in fact some higher power. There has to be something bigger out there but it's definitely not controlling our lives. We have total control the Universe is just there waiting to answer our prayers and give us the life that we want.

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