or baby-making season...
I debated a lot about whether to share our baby-making plans or keep them private. You already know I went off the pill, and I think I told you we wanted to conceive down under, but I thought maybe I should wait to share until we were at least 3 months pregnant, just in case.
Here's how I *think* I feel about "just in case": many people don't tell people they're early in pregnancy or trying to get pregnant because they don't want to have to tell people they lost the baby or are having trouble conceiving. However, if either of those things happen to me I *think* I'd want to write about it. This is my outlet, kind of like a journal, and I hope to look back on these entries years down the road to reflect and remember. I know there are people out there (maybe they're reading, maybe not) who are having trouble conceiving or who have gone through a miscarriage. Maybe if I write about my experiences, they will share theirs and know they're not alone. Hopefully, I will just get pregnant right away and have zero complications, but I'd love to share my story regardless.
I'm not pregnant, don't get excited.
I talked this over with my husband, and sad as it may seem, he made me realize this isn't only my decision to make. If we have trouble conceiving, it isn't only my problem. Duh, right? I kind of forgot about my husband's feelings. Sorry babe. So, out of respect for him, I'm going to have to leave you all in the dark. Hopefully we'll have good news soon, and if not, send us your good vibes.
One more thing I thought about with regards to keeping it quiet for the first three months: I'm sure that women who have a miscarriage just love it when, say 2 months later, someone asks how everything is going with the pregnancy. I'm already an emotional mess most of the time, so I can see why this would be a major reason to keep things hush-hush. I think we'll make a list of the friends and family members we want to tell early on, that way we can keep track of who knows if something should happen.
What are your thoughts on the whole "just in case" idea? Would you tell your friends and family if you had a miscarriage or were having trouble conceiving, or would you keep it between you and your significant other?
4 comments:
I'm a sharer and I think it would be a hard secret for me to keep, but J isn't a sharer and I think, like you husband, he wouldn't want me to talk about it. So I would have to keep quite until we were pregnant too.
I think I would tell a few close friends, my sister and mom, but not the interwebs.
Sending you good vibes :)
I'm so happy and excited for you guys! We are going to be great parents...totally respect your decision but am here if you need anything!
I hope that I will be on the people you tell early list ;) Can't wait!!
I chose to share early, at 9 weeks, because I felt like a miscarriage would actually be something I would want to share. I've found that sharing helps put me in contact with people who have gone through something similar, and feeling less alone helps me to cope. This most definitely isn't how it works for everyone, but I feel better when I do that.
Even though the baby is ours, husband does a great job of letting me have the pregnancy to myself (I am the one with the weight gain and swollen feet after all).
Good luck with your TTC adventures! You're going to be such a cute pregnant lady.
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