Myth: If you just relax, you will get pregnant.
Oh how I wish it was so simple. According to Alice D. Domar, Ph.D,
"The fact is, the vast majority of individuals who have infertility have a medical reason, not a stress-related one. Upwards of 90% of all infertility cases are caused by physical problems. In the female partner, the major causes of infertility are absent or irregular ovulation, blocked fallopian tubes, abnormalities in the uterus, and endometriosis (a chronic painful condition where tissue from the lining of the uterus migrates into the pelvis and attaches to the reproductive organs). The male partner can have issues with sperm production which can lead to too few sperm, sperm which can’t swim correctly, and abnormally shaped sperm."
via Resolve
Yes, I get stressed and I'm sure dealing with all of that hasn't been great for our efforts, but when people tell me to just relax and let it happen or to not worry about it I feel like crap. As my therapist says, stressed out crazy people get pregnant everyday. I have been working on myself, though, and I know I am in a much better place now than I was 6 or 8 months ago. I'm not planning out the events in my head, letting myself get carried away with what might happen. I'm also not allowing myself to go to that terrible place of depression and despair, thinking that I will never get pregnant.
I'm not in the camp that says everyone should tiptoe around those of us who struggle with infertility, but i do think that people should be aware that not everyone gets pregnant in the blink of an eye and it isn't our fault or something that we have any control over.
What do you think? Any myths you want to bust?
Want to learn more about infertility? Check this out: http://www.resolve.org/infertility101
National Infertility Awareness Week® (NIAW): http://www.resolve.org/takecharge
3 comments:
I've been very lucky that I don't have to deal with anyone throwing stooopid myths or insensitive comments at me. I have inlaws that ask politely about how things are going and then look uncomfortable when I say we're working on it or we're in treatment or whatnot. You can tell that it feels like it's a little too personal for them, but they are asking because they love us and they care, so I just keep the responses general.
The husband's grandmother did tell us to just relax, but I don't mind hearing it from her. She's 80 and had 6 kids and it's not like she was trying to blame us or talk us out of treatment. It was a comment in passing and so I just responded with, "Oh yeah, we're definitely trying to stay relaxed and just hope for the best."
Also - don't know if you saw this in the NY Times - "Stress Doesn’t Hamper Fertility Treatment, Researchers Conclude" - horray! One less thing to worry about. :)
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/01/health/research/01baby.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper
I'm sure whatever method you use--fertility drugs, adoption, natural conception--you WILL one day be a mother because some baby is just waiting to be loved by someone like you and your husband!
I am so with you.
~A
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